The Only Way for Twilight TV Reboot to Succeed is to Go Full Horror

If you were around for the heyday of Twilight fandom, you were also around for the insane, borderline psychopathic cultural backlash it generated.

Apparently, nothing enrages people like teenage girls having a good time, because Twilight made people so angry it was bananas. Did you like Twilight? You probably didn't admit it, at least not in public.

With the passage of time, some of this intensity died down. Type 'In Defence of Twilight' into YouTube and you'll get dozens of videos explaining why it actually shouldn't be punishable by death if people liked these silly, supernatural romances.

So now Twilight is coming back around, this time as a television show, and the question must be asked… what now?

Twilight as a romance has been roasted over the coals. And as a tween-aged action series with PG-13 battle scenes has been mocked into the ground. And Twilight as a soapy supernatural thriller has been parodied so well and so often that it would be almost impossible to take a straight reboot seriously.

So what about – hear me out – Twilight as horror?

Here's the story – and this is straight from the books. A 108-year-old vampire has been living a half-life of loneliness and shame for ninety years. Then he falls in love with a teenage girl. He's obsessed. He stalks her everywhere. The fact that he's old enough to be her great-grandfather doesn't stop him from wanting to a) kiss her and b) kill her very painfully and slowly. Is it love? Obsession? Kink? Bloodlust (literally)? Whatever the case may be, it's American Psycho meets Lolita.

And what about her? Maybe she's terrified of this creep. Maybe she's watched enough true crime to keep mace on her at all times. Maybe she's going along with it, pretending to be naive, but really planning to stake him through the heart. Either way, the tension is high. There's an equal possibility of carnage and carnality. And as off-brand as that sounds for Twilight, taking a dark turn with the material wouldn't actually involve changing the plot all that much.

Is there such a thing as… like, a Horror-Romance? I'm thinking of Will and Lector in Hannibal, who are hunting each other but also a little obsessed with each other's minds. Or Eve and Villanelle in Killing Eve. The romance can be there, just a little… messed up.

A horror reboot would offer something fresh and exciting for Edward and Bella. Plus, we won't have to relive the true horror – another decade of lazy jokes about how stupid Twilight is.