Early Reactions to Jurassic World Rebirth Are In—and Yes, They're Useless

It's that time again: a big studio blockbuster premieres, influencers flood the internet with fire emojis, and we all pretend it means something.
Jurassic World Rebirth just had its first screenings, and the early reactions are here — which is to say, the marketing campaign has entered its "we paid for your popcorn, now tweet something nice" phase.
To recap: Digital Spy called it a "roaring triumph." NME said it was "majestic." One early viewer praised Scarlett Johansson's performance, the terrifying new dinosaurs, and gave a shoutout to a creature named Dolores (who, according to everyone, is apparently "the GOAT").
Another chimed in with this gem:
"Jonathan Bailey's American accent tbf… not that I paid much attention to his lines."
If none of this sounds remotely helpful, that's because it isn't.
These first reactions — almost always breathless and glowing — come from press events where the audience is 60% influencers, 30% branded content creators, and 10% people who accidentally wandered in looking for the Dolby bathroom. Some even bring selfie ring lights to their seats. Seriously.
The truth is, early "reactions" aren't reviews. They're part of the PR rollout. The goal isn't to critique — it's to trend. And the cycle is always the same:
- Post-credits applause.
- "Masterpiece" tweets before the theater empties.
- A week later, real critics show up and the Rotten Tomatoes score drops 40 points overnight.
And yes, people online are noticing. As one commenter put it:
"Stupendous! Gob-smacking! Jaw-Dropping! Mind-Boggling! Fabulous! Heart-Pounding! … TURD."
Still, there's cautious hope from fans who just want something halfway decent. Some are genuinely curious to see what Gareth Edwards and screenwriter David Koepp have cooked up, especially with Scarlett leading the cast. One user even declared:
"If the combined talents of Gareth and Scarlett don't make this the best since the original, then the franchise is doomed."
And that's the thing: everyone knows this franchise prints money. The last three Jurassic World films made over $3 billion combined — and most fans will show up no matter what. But quality? That's a different fossil altogether.
So if you're still scrolling through social media for signs of life, here's the takeaway:
Ignore the hype. Early reactions to Jurassic World Rebirth are exactly what you'd expect — loud, uncritical, and engineered to go viral. Wait for the actual reviews. Or better yet, wait until July 2nd, see the film yourself, and decide if Dolores is actually the GOAT... or just another raptor with good lighting.