Cynthia Erivo's Sexuality and Love Life: What We Know and What She Keeps Private

Cynthia Erivo is having a moment again. With Wicked: For Good finally out as of November 21, the 38-year-old is front and center alongside Ariana Grande, and the whole two-part adaptation is already a thing people won’t shut up about. But it’s not just the green makeup. Erivo’s real story right now is how publicly she owns her identity while keeping her personal life almost completely off-limits.

Where she comes from

Erivo was born in Stockwell, London, to Nigerian parents who came to the UK after the Nigerian Civil War. She was raised by her mother after being disowned by her father, a bond that later inspired the name of her production company, Edith’s Daughter. Fashion is part of how she communicates who she is.

I love a heel, I love a nail, I love a jaw, I love a bald head, I love a good outfit. It is legitimately a way of just expressing parts of myself.

That’s Erivo in a November 2025 Harper’s Bazaar interview, and it tracks with how she’s moved through the last few years: more visible, more direct, and still very much on her terms.

Identity: loud and proud, on her terms

Erivo openly identifies as queer and bisexual, a conversation she first had publicly in British Vogue in August 2022. She’s been outspoken about LGBTQ+ rights, and even wrote a book, Simply More, expanding on a GLAAD Media Award speech about showing a light for people still figuring themselves out.

• Aug 2022: In British Vogue, she talks openly about being queer and bi, and pushes back on the constant pressure to justify LGBTQ+ lives. The gist: we love differently and express ourselves differently — and that should be respected, not policed.
• May 2024: Onstage at the Los Angeles LGBT Center Gala, she describes the risk and freedom of claiming her queerness publicly. She says it used to feel like her nose was pressed against the glass, watching her community from the outside.
• Nov 2024: In Vanity Fair with Ariana Grande, she lays out her boundary: her relationships are private. She’s clear that might change someday, but not today.
• Nov 2025: In Harper’s Bazaar, she frames style as self-expression — another piece of how she shows up without handing over everything.
• Ongoing: Her book, Simply More, leans into the same theme: being visible so others can see themselves more clearly.

Her line in the sand: privacy

I'm very tight-lipped with my relationships, 'cause I don't think that my relationship is for anyone else but for me. I spend so much of my life sharing everything — whether it's my work or my soul or my life in speeches. I think I give enough of myself that I'm allowed to keep something for me.

That’s Erivo in November 2024. She added that she might reconsider eventually, but for now, she’s not budging:

It's enough for people to know that I'm a queer person who could have relationships with men or women or neither.

How she describes the journey

At the LA LGBT Center Gala in May 2024, Erivo said that embracing her queerness in public felt risky, but worth it. She told the room it once felt like she was watching her own community through a glass box — vibrant, in love, and out of reach — and that breaking that barrier took time. Her words were pretty vivid:

I used to say that it felt like I was looking at my own community from inside a glass box... It took time for me to outgrow my box... And now, the glass is shattered and there is no glass in sight.

Back in British Vogue, she also talked about the grind of having to explain why LGBTQ+ people deserve equal treatment — and argued that bravery should be acknowledged, not punished. The point was simple: let people show up fully as themselves.

So, is she dating anyone?

Depends on what you mean by dating anyone and what you expect her to tell you. Erivo keeps it close to the vest. That said, she has reportedly been linked to writer-producer Lena Waithe since late 2024 (per StyleCaster). The two first met at the 2018 Met Gala (via Variety), and Erivo marked that moment on Instagram with: "I finally found my sis. Lena you are absolutely everything. You are perfection. What a meeting of minds, glad to have you in my life! Stuck like glue!!! SHINE QUEEN SHINE!!" Reports say things turned romantic after Waithe’s divorce, and they’ve attended events together.

Before that, Erivo was reportedly with actor Mario Martinez from 2017 to 2019, and British actor Dean-John Wilson from 2013 to 2017.

The work (aka why you know her)

Beyond the current Wicked frenzy and her turn as Elphaba opposite Ariana Grande, Erivo’s stage breakout was Celie in The Color Purple revival, which kicked off a near-sweep: a Tony, a Grammy, and a Daytime Emmy. On the film side, she’s led or co-starred in Widows, Bad Times at the El Royale, and Harriet — the last one earning her two Oscar nominations.

Bottom line

Erivo’s figured out how to be public without being exposed: clear about who she is, tight about who she’s with. Wicked: For Good is in theaters now, and she’s bringing the same focus to the screen that she brings to her life — open, intentional, and absolutely on her own terms.