AI Predicts Bond 26 Plot—and It's Painfully Generic

But rather than wait for human writers to, you know, do their jobs, someone thought it would be clever to ask an AI chatbot to generate the entire movie.

The result? A dull, cliché-riddled trainwreck that could've been stitched together by dragging and dropping plot points from half the Mission: Impossible franchise.

Title? Bond: Redacted.

Yes, seriously. Sounds like a rejected Tom Clancy novel—or a placeholder someone forgot to replace.

The AI tries to open with a dramatic cold-open featuring a pre-007 Bond in a failed mission, shot in a "Children of Men style" (read: dark and joyless). Then we're dropped into a theme song sequence... featuring Billie Eilish and Hans Zimmer again. Why? Because AI knows they did No Time to Die and figured: "Yeah, just do that again, but say it has 'more modern intensity.'" Whatever that means.

The Plot: Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V

The AI's plot outline is what you'd get if you force-fed it every Bond Wikipedia page and then slapped the keyboard.

Villain: Felix Greaves, a rogue MI6 agent. (Yes, it mashed together GoldenEye's Alec Trevelyan and Die Another Day's Gustav Graves. Creative.)

Bond's mission: He's framed for something he didn't do, travels across multiple scenic locations with a female "peer-level" agent who is "not a Bond girl" (translation: a Bond girl in every way except the label).

Climactic twist: Bond gets offered the villain's "surveillance archive" and vaguely considers turning evil. Then he... doesn't.

Gadget: An "experimental identity cloak" that isn't a gadget, just something that "relies on Bond's wit and deception." So... a trench coat?

Dialogue highlight:

> "You're not who we expected, Bond. But perhaps you're exactly who we need."

Which sounds like something you'd hear in a Hallmark spy parody starring Dean Cain.

The AI even tried casting suggestions — throwing out Emily Watson as M (solid) and Naomie Harris (spelled wrong) for… unclear reasons, possibly to promote Moneypenny. Bold.

The Verdict: Skynet, You're Drunk

By Act III, the AI had clearly lost interest. The story ends in vague nonsense, plot threads disappear, and Bond more or less shrugs his way back into MI6. It's as if the bot realized how exhausting it is to string together a coherent script and rage-quit halfway through.

The whole thing feels like a parody written by someone who's only heard of James Bond via Twitter arguments and Google autocomplete. Which is fitting, because that's exactly what happened.

So don't worry, human screenwriters: AI's not coming for your job anytime soon. If Bond: Redacted is what the machines think passes for a spy thriller, then Denis Villeneuve can sleep easy. At least until the bot tries to cast Macaulay Culkin as the new 007.