This Relationship Was the Ugliest on TBBT for Absolutely No Reason

Summary

• TBBT used a lot of stereotypes for comedic effect.
• Howard's mother was unnecessarily demonized on the show.
• He did not understand how wrong he was about his mother until it was too late.

Like any sitcom, The Big Bang Theory tapped into many stereotypes to provide its audience with ample comic relief. Most notably, the CBS hit relied on the nerdy scientist trope as it followed a gang of CalTech researchers in their daily and professional lives. Or, as another example, TBBT exploited the dumb blonde stereotype in its portrayal of Penny, although the character was given due development later on the show.

But these weren't the ugliest stereotypes used on TBBT. Howard's toxic relationship with his mother, Debbie Wolowitz, is the epitome of abhorrent trope use, as she was portrayed as a stereotypical overbearing Jewish mother who smothered her son with her care and prevented him from maturing. As a result, Howard had a deep-seated resentment toward her, which he openly expressed to his friends. But was there really any reason for it?

Howard – Coward

TBBT seems to have a problem with mothers. Sheldon's Mary is portrayed as a religious nut. Leonard's Beverly is portrayed as a heartless robot. And Howard's Debbie is insufferably overbearing. And it's fair to say that of the three, Beverly is the worst, treating her children as projects and test subjects and never caring about their feelings.

Still, Leonard doesn't snipe at her every chance he gets. Sure, he doesn't keep his resentment to himself, but at least he finds the heart to tell his mother things to her face. Meanwhile, Howard is always complaining about the excessive care his perhaps overly loving mother gives him unconditionally.

More importantly, Howard behaves like a typical teenager when he takes out his frustrations on his mother instead of setting proper boundaries with her or taking a more dominant and independent position in their relationship as an adult should. Instead, he chooses to take advantage of their arrangement and whine about the things he doesn't like about it.

The Realization

In other words, Howard didn't have to be so spiteful and venomous toward his mother. Debbie was a pretty nice person who provided and cared for her son no matter what. Sure, she wasn't the wisest of parents, but she wasn't the worst.

Unfortunately, Howard only realized this after her death in Season 8. Carol Ann Susi, who had voiced Debbie Wolowitz since the first season, passed away and was honored on TBBT through her behind-the-scenes character. It was only then that Howard realized she was a great mother and maybe he should have treated her differently.